Goodbye, Really Goodbye
by faith heart
Summary: A collection of sorrows from Clamp works.
1. Blood-C: Not Meant To Be

Saya finally found her long-awaited target.

_**Him.**_

That despicable roach of a human. Or was he?

After all, he did transformed himself into an Elder Bairn hybrid to become closer to Saya and free her from her oath not to feed on humans. Something she found herself disgusted with. He even killed his own family. Someone who does such things would not be considered human.

"Fumito!" The vampire shrieks as she glares at the hateful creature. The one who toyed and ruined her. And also, the man she once saw with rose-colored glasses. Someone who she relied and maybe truly did have feelings for.

Regardless of how she felt, Saya knew she had to face him. She lands in front of him, her sword ready to pierce whenever. Saya would do it. His blood would be on her hands.

Without fail.

The immortal seethes once she meets him, face-to-face again. The last she saw him, he took everything from her: security, happiness, livelihood, and innocence. Even if it was fake, it was hers to own. And he ripped it from her, unjustly. Now she was destroyed, she would kill the one who ruined her. How fitting.

"How could you do such a thing," she spat. "Killing bystanders, children! Children are burning and bleeding out there! Don't you even see for yourself?!"

The man simply smirks. "I didn't know you'd become sympathetic to humans, Saya. What did happen to you when I left you?"

She grips her hilt in anger, veins popping on her white fist. He was doing this on purpose, spurring her. Just like he did on that day when her peaceful world was shattered. But the vampire would not let him get to her. She spent months closing her heart, it would not fail her now.

He walks around, his arms spread out to gesture the city before them.

"They don't understand at all, humans, what it's like to have power. To know what's wrong and right." Fumito turns back to her. "But you do. You've lived as a human for a couple of years and experienced wonderful things in my experiment. You've even immersed yourself in society for a while before you came to me."

Flashes of her "friends" and "father" came into mind. The pungent scent of their blood dripping as they fell, one by one. They were at the convenience of Fumito's plan, a ruse. Yet...the candor and amity she shared with them as a human...was the only thing she knew.

Yet, Mana and her friends…they did somehow bring back her conscience, her hope. But she shoved them from her mind. Saya had no right to thing of something so bright when she finally had her chance.

"You know better, you've always known," Fumito replies to her silence. He walks towards her, gripping her shoulders gently.

"Build a new world with me. This is our reason," he insists. "It has been decided in the beginning; when you were a lost, forlorn creature with a thirst for blood and I was a lost man who couldn't find anything to pass the time. We can do it, together. We break the system of the world together. We show the world that they were wrong about creatures like us."

She wasn't sure what to do. She still had the fake memories of loving him. Or was it really fake? No—

_**Kill.**_

Mana…and her friends...

_**Don't kill.**_

Or her fond memories of the kind neighbor?

_**Kill.**_

_**Don't—**_

"Fumito...san..." her voice crackles in desperation and weakness. She wasn't sure who she was anymore. His eyes widen at the soft voice. It was the human Saya. Even if she was drenched in blood and ditched the innocent, schoolgirl look, a part of her was the human.

"Saya, we could be together now and forever," he whispered, drawing her close for a sweet kiss— before he was stabbed in the stomach. In the last second, the vampire managed to slide her sword in without any sign.

The blonde lets out a garbled choke. "Well, it works this way," he weakly chuckles. "A prize for you, the winner. And a punishment for me, the loser."

Fumito limply falls against her, his lips finally pressing against hers. _It was growing cold_, she noticed.

His body bleeding out, he falls to the ground with her supporting him. "You had to dodge it, Saya. Or else...it's a prize..."

The blonde man lets out a wheeze, blood trickling from his mouth before he smiles far off at her face. He seemed to be relieved from his demise…something she wasn't ready for. Fumito had that innocent look she remembered in the back of her mind.

And then he was gone.

Saya wasn't sure what was running through her veins as she saw her former enemy dead. He took everything from her but he also gave her everything.

_Duty…truly was the death of love._

Tears drip down, cleaning the blood streaks on her face.

"Once more...I am alone again..."

She silently turns him over his back, sorrowfully pained as she sees that faraway gaze in those now glassy eyes. In the end, he had to have the last say. Even in death, he wouldn't be able to leave her mind. Saya closed his eyes and held him tight, not caring if the blood seeped through her torn clothes.

Sirens were going off below her. The vampire had to leave. She ensured the world's safety, but she would never be accepted by them. Where she would go next, she wasn't sure, but she had to go alone for no one can understand the sorrows and pains of a lone vampire.

_Even if it was for a while, I wanted to be more open to Mana...I'm sorry. _ She put him down and jumped from the building, into the shadows and was never seen again.

_Goodbye...for real...goodbye...my beloved Fumito._


	2. Tokyo Babylon X(1999): Until Then

"No matter what...no matter how far you go..." Sad eyes peer at the picture. Even if it was a fake smile, Seishiro seemed lively with the twins at his side, hugging the shy boy while the older sister clung onto her brother.

"I will find you."

Kamui, who was still bedridden, turns his head to the sorrowful voice. He had just seen Subaru's memories, and the young man could feel the pain in his own veins.

"I will always...find you..."

The onmoygi lost someone precious, just like him. He was the only one who could understand him.

"I know from what I saw...but what sort of relationship do you have with your sister's killer?"

Subaru sadly looks out to the window, the lights dimly popping out sporadically before him. "It was a long time ago…" Kamui settles down in his bed, knowing by the tone of the older man that it would take a while.

"I met Seishirō when I was young...he was charming, mysterious." A soft, nostalgic expression morphed on his face, appearing a bit younger. "He was like the cherry blossoms that we were surrounded by: fleeting and beautiful..."

Subaru closed his eyes as the memories that burned at his heart renewed the scars in his mind: The veterinarian's smile, those easygoing confessions of love, and...

**Those cold eyes steely once he revealed his purpose.**

_"If only there was someone who truly loved you."_

**A cruel smirk while the man fades, leaving the bloody figure of someone who was Subaru's reflection…**

Hokuto...

"_I love you, Subaru.._."

He turns back to Kamui. "All you need to know is that I need to stop him." In those eyes, Kamui could see sorrowful wisdom hidden behind those dark orbs.

"I see myself in you, in many ways," the onmoygi continued. "However the wounds are different. After my sister died, I came back into reality with the pain. But I don't want you to go on the same path I'm taking."

Kamui leans back up once the older man sits by his side. "You made a bet?"

Subaru smiles mirthlessly, revealing his bare, branded hands. Seeing them without gloves made him reminisce the past. "One that I was innocent and too young to remember. And the one that made my sister sacrifice herself for me."

The boy stayed silent, reeling in what he saw and heard.

"What do you intend to do when you find him?"

There was silence for a while. It seemed as though the onmoygi had to recollect his purpose. Somehow, Kamui found it unsettling.

"I'm going to kill him," Subaru firmly states after a while. "It's what I've been training for. And I have to be the one to do it."

Even though he sounded resolved, the young man felt as though Subaru was trying to convince himself by saying it aloud.

"That's why, Kamui," he continues, brining the young man's mind back. "You shouldn't be like me. You should try to do what you want."

The mourning teenager thinks it through. He wanted to save Fuma, because he couldn't save Kotori. He at least had to save his friend.

Subaru smiles once he sees the resolve in Kamui's eyes. Life was coming back into those dull orbs.

But on the other hand, the onmoygi would have to live to die...

**Until that day...I'll live, live...to make sure Kamui doesn't get hurt anymore than this...  
**

* * *

Even if it was through one eye, Subaru could clearly see Seishiro. The moment has come.

The darn bandage sure was getting in his way, he had to admit. From hopping and twisting, the flimsy wrap was unraveling from his head.

"You don't need to use any illusions," the onmoygi calmly calls out to Seishiro. "I'm already trapped in sakura since that day."

The sakurazukamori slowly takes his sunglasses off, a hint of amusement in his left eye as he unveils himself. "I heard that only I can grant your wish, is that so?"

Subaru also does the same, ripping off his bothersome bandage, mirroring his opponent with his own left eye.

"Isn't it your wish to kill me?"

He didn't want to lie to himself anymore, more so to Seishiro. "No, you're wrong."

The two of them disappeared as the kekkai vanished, causing panic from Kamui and Arashi. "SUBARU!"

They couldn't see anything, only the thick wind buffering their sight. They could only cover their eyes from the dust, hoping to find their comrade amidst the fog.

Once it cleared, the two men were locked in a deadly embrace. It was hard to see, but Kamui could swear he saw Subaru's hand emerging from Seishiro's back while the older man was in his knees.

Once Seishiro was let go, Subaru couldn't process what just occurred. Didn't Seishiro just charge at his heart? How could he have the chance to pierce the sakurazukamori's instead?

The man slumps, releasing Subaru's bloody hand from his body. Subaru grips him tightly, embracing his already growing cold body. His mind was clouded with confusion and desperation.

"W..hy?!" Subaru chokes. It didn't make any sense.

"Your...sister's last spell..." Seishiro hacks blood while explaining. "When I tried to kill you the same way I stabbed her heart...it would come back to kill me."

Subaru remembered in his dream, watching Seishiro cruelly taking Hokuto away from him. His heart screeched in pain as he realized his older twin protected him beyond her death. But at the cost of losing another loved one.

Seishiro's voice grew tender as he chuckles in their embrace, "Right now, we're a reflection of the past..."

Subaru evenly spoke, trying his best not to break, "That day...when Hokuto...I tried to kill you...From the bottom of my heart, I tried to forget you."

The bleeding man was silent while Subaru shook. "But I couldn't..." He gripped onto Seishiro's shirt tightly. "Even if you thought I was a stone, even if it was like stepping on a withered branch..." Bloody tears dropped onto Subaru's hands, washing away the burned marks. The brand that tied the two together.

He hides his head on Seishiro's shoulder, crying silently. "Still..." he gasps. "That's why...I wanted to be killed by you."

"Even if you forgot me...even if I was another one of those descending sakura..." Subaru reveals his vulnerable self to his precious one, looking like when he was a young onmoygi. "I at least wanted you..."

He couldn't speak, afraid. The words was stuck in his throat. A bloody hand reaches up to his cheek. "When I think about it, because you're too kind...you weren't ready to kill someone." Seishiro pulls himself up, using his leftover strength to reach the young man. He still had that smile Subaru remembered when he was a veterinarian.

"I...Subaru-kun..." Seishiro strokes his hair, matting it with his blood. "...you..."

He leans closer, the extent of his strength enough to reach Subaru's ear, whispering something almost inaudible. The onmoygi's eyes widen once Seishiro gives one last victorious smile before collapsing.

The onmoygi's hands trembled once he sensed life leaving Seishiro's body. He was gone, forever. Tears continued to fall, inconsolable.

"You always..." He hugs the body tightly, as if his warmth could revive the older man. "Don't give me the words that I'd predict you would tell me..."

* * *

After the war ended, Subaru wasn't sure if he had any happiness swell in his heart.

Well, what did it take to gain peace? It wasn't enough his sister's blood was shed, but Seishiro, his comrades... And Kamui himself at the cost of his wish?

The onmoygi slowly walks away, silently bidding goodbye to those who were still alive. He didn't feel as though he could be with them now, after he cowardly left his comrades for the Dragons of Earth.

The breeze passing by almost made Subaru stiffen. He swore he heard a whisper. No, not one…but multiple.

Turning back, he sees a sakura tree standing tall before him. He recognized it at once. It was where he had first met him.

He realized when he first met the assassin, Subaru was taken aback but somewhat compelled to him. Even though his heart was dulled from pain and emotion, the previous sakurazukamori did have a twinge of loneliness within him.

"You liar..."

With the blowing breeze, Subaru could hear whispers from victims of Seishiro, his long gone friends, his sister, and Seishiro. They were all inaudible but he could tell from their tone: they were guiding him. Thanking him.

They disappeared once the cherry blossoms fell on him, resembling all the faces he encountered and emphasized with. They were no longer with him anymore though. They moved on.

**How lonely this feels, it hurt more than a wound from a cut. When I engraved you in my heart...**

He closes his eyes, still not used to seeing with both eyes. In his hands was a sakura, still pristine and lovely. Subaru carefully covers it with his hands to shield the blossom. It was as beautiful as the rest, but to the man, it was the only one he wanted to possess.

"Seishiro-san..."

**If he just chose to open up...I wanted to run away with him...I could run away for my whole life...I could throw away my possessions. My life.**

**But...**

Memories of the cheerful assassin popped in his mind's eyes.

_"We should have Subaru-kun and my wedding someday soon!"_

_"Subaru-kun...am I sexy?"_

_"It just happened that the person I fell in love with is a boy..."_

He shook his head while he opens his eyes once more, his vision dyed in pink. Because they were dyed in corpse's blood...

**Why did you make my hands do that to you?**

_"Subaru-kun..."_

**You...**

_"I...Subaru...you...I loathed you but somehow...over time...I found myself loving you..."_

He slowly smiles as he remembered those last words. In the end, Seishiro really knew how to take him by surprise.

The onmoygi continues down his path, ready to head off to the unknown. With the last gift Seishiro imparted on him, he would use his life to continue helping people. He would do it, as his job and for Hokuto.

Especially for Kamui's sake. The boy who, although was gone, saved his friend.

Subaru finally opens his hands, the wind whistling in his ears while he watches the sakura fly up into the sky. That constant smile still on his lips as he walks away, wistfully watching the blossom reach the heavens as he walks away.

**It's my turn, to wander this earth for eternity…waiting for someone to take the mantle of the sakurazukamori...even if you're not here, I will love you.**

**Until the end of time...**


End file.
